Household Challenges

nayidulhan Silver IL'ite

Is nature being just and fair with us when on the one hand we are perimenopausal & silently fighting our own personal battles wrt physical and mental health and on the other hand we have teenagers and aging (sometimes ailing) parents to handle? Focusing on parents' schedules, fulfilling their needs (& demands) and also those of the teens at home is draining, at times. Could someone please tell me how they handle all this efficiently?

Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

Women, when more is added to their already full plate, rarely think of saying No. They instead come up with ways of doing even more in the 24 hours. For example, if a man realizes on Sunday evening that the child has a school project due the next day, he might reluctantly add that last minute shopping and guiding child to his Sunday, but it will be after deleting another household task or two from his list. The mother will not think of deleting any task, at the most she might cancel her me-time relaxation.

Consider a donkey that is standing already carrying lots of luggage. If more load is added, a she-donkey will move its back side to side to rearrange the load and to carry the new load more efficiently. A he-donkey will drop an item or two on the owner's foot or kick the owner with its hind leg.

One thing that works is to do things sufficiently instead of efficiently. For some tasks, do the bare minimum. Save energy for more important tasks. Fulfill needs, not demands. Delegate. Learn to say No and follow through on the No.