2 months ago
26
I request your sentiment regarding my engagement with this family.
He is my maternal uncle, precise overmuch adjacent to my ma and the lone surviving sibling she has for now.
But, their narration isn't axenic conscionable similar excavation with my siblings. They ever had this sibling revelry, and connected and disconnected narration from the beginning.
He joined twice. Divorced his archetypal woman 6 months station matrimony owed to suspicion issues implicit the lady's past emotion affair. He could not judge this erstwhile helium learnt the quality aft marriage. He didn't privation to forgive her for not sharing this quality earlier, and decided to extremity his matrimony for that matter. The woman aboriginal committed suicide, and we each deliberation this divorcement was the crushed behind.
Instead of feeling guilty, my uncle felt relieved sating the miss committed termination owed to infidelity and dispersed negativity astir her death.
This happened during aboriginal 80s, truthful you tin ideate the mindset of the radical successful our state that time.
Fast forward:
He got joined for the 2nd clip aft a decennary to a woman reasoning she indispensable beryllium the astir faithful woman connected earth. Because the woman was precise shy benignant and that's what helium loved astir her during the matrimony talks. Later, we each recovered retired that this pistillate had a intelligence information that prevented her from being similar anybody else. She would enactment weird owed to her illness, marque precise foolish decisions, enactment innocent, and sometimes halt eating and what not. But she was/is a diligent who requires changeless attraction to beryllium normal.
Despite of treatment, my uncle's household beingness was deed hard owed to his wife's condition. He was forced to rise his 2 antheral kids, which made him implicit protective of them from childhood. The kids had societal issues, but his implicit protectiveness made it worse.
He was a schoolhouse principal, and ensured his children got the champion successful school, beryllium it relationship oregon places successful sports oregon events, other the teachers and different kids get punished. So the kids ne'er learned a happening astir hard work.
They got casual marks and casual spots successful contention passim successful their schoolhouse times. But erstwhile it comes to college, contempt of being selected with merit marks, they could not articulation assemblage owed to their anti societal and implicit privileged nature. He adjacent tried utilizing his estimation and power to mitigate their issues astatine college, but it didn't workout. So some these boys are assemblage driblet outs now.
The elder 1 is successful his aboriginal 30s, portion the younger 1 is successful his precocious 20s. Both unemployed till aboriginal this twelvemonth contempt the household struggled truthful overmuch financially to conscionable their basal needs.
Uncle is successful his 70s, and inactive moving successful backstage institutions, and managing household unneurotic with his pension.
He forces his wife's relatives successful overseas to assistance him due to the fact that helium thinks it was their responsibility to fell her intelligence information earlier marriage. Anyways, they assistance them considerably and are acceptable to sponsor the boys to come, survey oregon enactment successful abroad. But the household rejected this offer, citing they boys can't spell unless if everyone is going together.
Coming to the problem:
I person been helping this household since a agelong time, due to the fact that this uncle has ever been bully to me. Helped maine erstwhile helium was doing good etc.
But I privation them to beryllium aforesaid sustainable oregon enjoying the effect of my assistance successful amended ways, alternatively than utilizing the wealth connected immoderate foolish things, and past endure to conscionable basal needs the full month.
With tons of counselling, I managed to nonstop the older lad to work. A impermanent occupation though, but helium is earning immoderate 40K, and is enjoying his enactment now. He has adjacent learnt to thrust a motorcycle and marque friends and going out. Now helium wants to settee successful life, truthful asking his dada to look for a bride.
He is trying to beryllium astute hence looking for a moving girl. But nary of the moving miss would beryllium acceptable to wed idiosyncratic with a 40K wage (40,000 LKR) successful Sri lanka.
The different lad has nary involvement to work, but request his dada a batch of wealth for higher studies etc to amusement the satellite that helium is doing something.
After each the courses helium aspires to implicit virtually (because helium is anti social) helium aspires to enactment successful a apical notch company, but I highly uncertainty this.
I privation him to commencement moving now, nary substance however tiny the presumption whitethorn be.. helium tin inactive lend to the household and get immoderate outdoor experiences that are precise overmuch needed for enactment and his idiosyncratic life. But helium is stubborn and uncle is acrophobic what if helium takes utmost determination if we propulsion him further.
The lad is surviving successful his comfortableness zone, and not bothered astir his dada astatine all.
Now that, I heard from my ma that uncle and aunt lone devour erstwhile oregon doubly a day, and unrecorded with bare minimum arsenic they can't grip the monthly expenses anymore. Uncle is dying to get the older lad married, truthful that astatine slightest idiosyncratic is settled earlier his beingness ends. He is going crazy, and pleading families to wed his lad it seems.
I tin assistance more, but to what extend? Even if I springiness 50K much each month, helium would springiness the wealth to his sons, particularly to the younger 1 who would registry to immoderate courses oregon exams virtually, and extremity up doing oregon not doing the people depending connected his comfortableness level. But uncle thinks this is the lone mode to marque his lad settee aboriginal successful life, and does everything imaginable helium could.
Any suggestions?
