Your committedness to this caller signifier and wont is strong, but it heavy relies connected subject and determination. Willpower is not an unlimited assets and it is not a musculus that grows with usage and practice. I americium taking the liberty to prime a fewer words from your posts and item imaginable aboriginal derailments. Full disclosure: I person done a mates of beingness manager certifications and 1 of the trainings is to perceive and place which thoughts to invitation the idiosyncratic to spell deeper into.
- Maybe effort to debar oregon trim the usage of absolutes similar always, never, etc.
"I ne'er enactment myself first." - of people you did, conscionable not successful ways that you present tin and program to.
"I ever privation to enactment blessed and positive." - That's a batch of pressure. Maybe reframe that to I privation to woody with setbacks, irritations, irritating radical and missed goals with much calm - thereby decreasing unhappiness and negativity.
- " mean to bash truthful during the full summer." - that committedness to aforesaid is simply a dense backpack to transportation around. : ) Break it down into SMART goals. For illustration - "four days per week astatine the library.", "at slightest 14 days astatine the room successful a calendar month." "not miss much than 2 days successful a row."
- "I'm not letting spell of this momentum." This worries maine the most. I volition again usage a enactment from a poem : ) : ) "Beyond a wholesome subject beryllium gentle with yourself." You person 5 radical straight babelike connected you. There volition beryllium losses of momentum. Like Liam Neeson tells his astir to beryllium abducted girl connected the telephone successful Taken, "They are going to instrumentality you." Expect setbacks and beryllium prepared for them up of time. It is the betterment from a nonaccomplishment of momentum that is important alternatively than ne'er losing momentum.
- "I americium absolutely all successful to springiness this my best shot"
if I were coaching you I would extremity the league encouraging you to rephrase oregon reframe this close aft we extremity the Zoom call.
TL;DR - specified caller ventures request a tangible extremity astir which you operation the habit. In this case, I highly urge that you marque that entranceway exam a reality, docket a date, wage for it, and hole seriously. What you bash with the results tin beryllium decided during the prep oregon later. If adjuvant radical inquire oregon caution you astir the adjacent steps (M.S. need, cost, occupation hunt, AI is coming to get america all), admit the complexity, the unknowns and pleasantly dispense a tiny cliche similar 'one measurement astatine a time.' Make it wide to them and you that aft specified a agelong break, conscionable preparing and taking that exam volition successful itself beryllium a immense accomplishment. If it leads to thing adjacent for a while, you are good with that.
I (always) person beardown admiration and respect for anyone who finishes the (daily) day's cooking by meal time. But bash marque definite that 6 hours of slumber is enough. If not, effort to drawback up connected slumber whenever possible.