Hoping Mil To Die

I feel so down.
I have this constant feeling hoping for MIL to die soon. I think it's OK for her to go as she is already old, she has lived her live, seen grandchildren and no one is dependent on her now. I hate her so much, I hate to look at her face, I hate to hear her voice and I even hate when someone talks about her. I will get very angry and everything that she had said and done to me would keep running in my mind.

I know this is a very big sin but this is how I'm feeling. She is healthy for now except the normal issues like diabetes and high blood pressure of which both are perfectly under control. She doesn't stay with us but very likely will come stay with us if she happens to fall ill or gets too old and weak. She used to come to our place often and stay for 1 or 2 weeks. After I openly confronted her and didn't talk to her the last time she visited us, also directly showing I hate her coming to our place, she didn't come for some time now. But I worry she will be here anytime.

Please forgive me for being so blunt.